I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
