btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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