Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
