and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
