Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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