I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
