So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Randomize
