Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
