You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
