He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
