God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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