Kiss
Puke
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
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He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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