my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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