I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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