I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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