I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
