I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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