i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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