Please don't use social media to get back at me.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
