CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
zippers are such a cool invention
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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