Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
