I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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