Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
