That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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