sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
