I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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