God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
