So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Randomize
