wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
