I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
