just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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