Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
