i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
