i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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