I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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