She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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