ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
