I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
