Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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