i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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