we're chasing vodka with high fives
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
