He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
