I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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