Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
