Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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