My room smells like vodka and shame
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
