so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
