You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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