thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
