NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize