the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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