Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
