So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
