I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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