after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
