It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
