awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
