D3 body, D1 cock
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize