so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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