if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
