the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
