There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
well you can't waste a boner
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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