I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
smell my finger.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
