Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
