I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
