he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
