The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize