yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize