You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
