Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
