Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
